And that’s no exaggeration. Firstly, apologies for not writing for so long. “Real” life got in the way – and then I forgot my password. I’ve managed to retrieve it now.
Anyway, yeah, the pursuit of becoming more girly came pretty close to killing me a few weeks ago, as I hinted at in an earlier post.
I’ve been transgender for many years and have tried a few times to grow breasts without going down the NHS or private doctor route.
We’re talking about self-medicating here. I did my research and came across various ways of growing boobs. These ranged from hypnosis and special massages to breast pumps and phytoestrogens – estrogen substances found in certain plants.
It might sound like mumbo jumbo, but some of these methods really work – for men and women. But what I didn’t realise was that taking estrogen – even a plant-based version – could be fatal.
I began with a product called Natureday, which is a blend of various phytoestrogens and has been used by many men, some of them getting impressive results, according to the website’s testimonials.
This was back in 2006 and I have to say that it did nothing for me. I think I had a few “tingles” – but I don’t remember any growth. Then I tried another product, called St Herb, which contains Pueraria Mirifica, widely regarded as the strongest phytoestrogen.
Again, results were limited in terms of breast growth – but I did notice other effects. The main one involved orgasm – my orgasms didn’t feel as powerful as they once did and the semen, instead of being thick and white, became thin and colourless – more or less like water.
This scared me and so I stopped taking the pills and using the creams. After a short time, my orgasms returned to normal. I’ve never really wanted children – but I didn’t want to become infertile either because maybe I would want them in the future. That was the main reason I stopped.
After that, I tried other methods which did not involve phytoestrogens. I would perform half a dozen different breast massages every day and hook myself up to a Noogleberry breast pump for an hour each evening.
This did indeed work and I had a little growth. Straight after the pumping, I had rather large breasts, but these would soon become tiny again after an hour or two.
I stopped the pumping because it was time-consuming and, if I over-pumped, I ended up with nasty blisters.
And then I left it all alone for a few years. Until November 18, 2014, when I wanted to try the phytoestrogens again. I discussed what I wanted to do with my amazingly supportive girlfriend and, although she’d much rather I didn’t grow breasts, she didn’t want to stand in my way.
So I did the research again and came across a forum called Breast Nexus. This is basically a website containing several forums dedicated to NBE – Natural Breast Englargement, or Natural Breast Enhancement.
Included within that is a section called Breast Growth for Genetic Males, which includes sub-forums on phytoestrogens, bovine ovary and all the other ways of developing breasts in guys.
I spent hours there and became addicted to reading the posts. The “before and after” threads fascinated me – this stuff really worked. There was no doubt about it.
Most of the guys were (and still are) using a brand of Phytoestrogen called Ainterol. This one seems to be the industry standard these days, just as St Herb used to be a few years back.
Again, I checked for any health risks or side effects but could find nothing. After all, these were just herbs, weren’t they? So nothing like the strong “pharma” estrogen prescribed to trans women, right? Wrong!
Anyway, I placed a large order and waited for the goods to arrive from Germany. After a couple of weeks, they arrived and I was eager to get started. I wanted breasts – I still do – and here was the key to unlock them.
I began on what, according to some of the posters on Breast Nexus, was a low dose – although that was double the dose stated on the bottle. So I was taking four 500mg pills per day. The bottle stated two 500mg pills per day – but this was considered to be the dose for women, according some forum members.
I did suffer with ocular migraines for the first couple of weeks after starting, but they soon stopped as my body got used to the E. I combined the “PM” with Saw Palmetto (as an anti-andogen) but then switched this to White Peony Root extract and Reishi Mushroom pills – more herbs. I forget what effects each had – but the two were supposed to work well with the PM.
And sure enough, it worked! Behind both nipples, I began to bud – little discs could be felt, the left one slightly bigger than the right. I was so happy and loved the sensations – the tingles, the pains, the incredible sensitivity.
Then I messed up. Breast growth takes years – it comes in spurts. So when mine stopped growing, instead of being patient and waiting for the next spurt, I thought I’d up the PM dosage. So I want from 2,000mg per day to 3,000mg. And then 4,000mg.
Plenty of guys on the forum were taking 4,000-plus and weren’t reporting side effects, so I thought I’d be fine. But it was a decision that could have killed me.
In the summer of this year, I began to feel an aching in my left calf. I thought it was just a calf strain from exercising, so did a few stretches and took painkillers. But the pain got worse and worse and my calf swelled up like balloon.
I checked into my local hospital, which referred me to A&E. The next day, I had an ultrasound, which revealed that I had DVT – Deep Vein Thrombosis – or a blood clot stuck in one of the veins in my leg – this one near my groin.
The doctors couldn’t work out why I had it – and I was puzzled myself. I’m fairly young, take lots of exercise and there’s no family history. I’d not been on any long-haul flights for years either. And yet, I had DVT and had to begin taking drugs to sort it out. It was only later that I wondered if the PM was to blame.
The first couple of weeks involved very painful injections in my stomach and I was told to take warfarin for six months. I also have to wear compression stockings for two years.
Now in terms of stockings, that’s one good thing to come out of this. Because my clot was so high up my leg, it meant I had to wear thigh-length stockings and, because I’m allergic to the latex/silicone they use in hold-ups, it meant I was forced to wear a suspender belt.
I love stockings but hadn’t worn them for a while because I found them so fiddly – so I’d either wear tights or trouser/crew/knee socks instead. Since getting the DVT, I’ve been wearing stockings every day and really enjoying it.
But that’s about the only good thing to come out of this. I now have to see my doctor every week to get my INR (blood thickness) measured and my warfarin dose tweaked. I’m not allowed to drink alcohol – although I still have a little.
Had that clot moved from my leg to my lungs (pulmonary embolism), brain (stroke) or heart (heart attack), I’d probably be dead now.
So this post is to urge people to take care. Estrogen – even the plant form – is very dangerous and can kill you if you’re not careful. Only take it under medical supervision. Please don’t self-medicate. If you really want to re-sculpt your body to become more feminine, do it through the proper channels, which is what I’m now doing. Yes, there’s a long wait with the NHS – but better that than death.
There’s no point having a beautiful hourglass figure if it’s locked away and buried in a coffin.
Andie x
John says
Hello I’ve been taking PM for about 8 weeks and it’s very effective. Now I too have got a DVT. Be warned, I could be dead.
John
andiepasdedeux says
I hope you’re getting the right treatment, John. You’ll need plenty of blood thinners for the next few months, plus compression stockings.
Folks, if you are going to take estrogen, don’t think that phytoestrogens are safe just because they’re natural – from plants. They’re clearly not.
Sarah says
How did you know when you had the dvt? I’ve been taking a low 350mg dose of pm and have had good results off that dose over a higher one. Highest I’ve taken is 1000mg but went back down since I preferred the lower dose.
andiepasdedeux says
Hi Sarah. It began like a calf strain but got worse and worse. My calf became huge and very painful. Please be careful. xxx
JJ says
I would never go above 1,000 mg personally. I don’t think it’s safe going above 2,000. PM is quite powerful at regular doses, so going too high is definitely risky. If people take at the recommended doses I think the risk is considerably less.
expansiblog says
You need to get serrapeptase right now or Nattokinase.
Best of luck, you must not have read enough. Many people who mess with Estrogenic herbs or BO know all about the dangers of Blood Clots and Estrogen. Many take preventive steps to mitigate the risks with enzymes such as the ones I listed Above. I wish you the best and many blessings!
andiepasdedeux says
Thanks for that. Once bitten, twice shy for me, though. I’m going wait a little longer and do it properly, through NHS endos who know what they’re doing.
Philip A Smith says
if you dig deeper into the ainetrol site you will find a few horror stories of people who thought if a little is good a hell of a lot must be better, I currently take my evanesce look up this site dianna is very knowledgeable and many on her site have transitioned with her products , like many of you here I started with ainetrol and got a aa cup in 6 months using only the reccomended 2 pill a day dose , even if any of you do not decide to use evanesce the web site is very educational
thanks phylis
Nasi says
Hi Andie x! You mention that the issues arose after you started taking the recommended dosage, that you were seeing progress but only upped the dosage when you had a lull in the progress. Do you think you would have been fine if you had just continued with the recommended? Do you think you would have had DVT in that case? Would you recommend the products if you used in moderation? If so, what was your regime before upping the dosage?
Someone looking to transition and new to all this, and looking into this as an option. It’s encouraging to hear this account as I have yet to find much independent support for phytos while still considering the risks. Just curious if you recommend them at all after your experience.
Thanks so much~
N~
andiepasdedeux says
Hi Hasi, thanks for the message. It’s really impossible to say whether or not I’d have suffered the DVT on a lower dose without going back in time and doing some blood tests on hormone levels and suchlike.
If you are looking at the phytoestrogen route, I’d say look at the Breast Nexus website I mention – there’s a wealth of information out there.
But, speaking from my experience, I’d recommend you do this properly, as I’m now about to with pharma estrogen, through your doctor and gender clinic. That way, you get your blood tests done and can minimise the risk of DVT.
Good luck!
Andie xxx
Nasi says
Hey! No problem thank you for the swift reply! I really appreciate all the advice and information, thank you so much <3
Skarletbloom says
That’s why you take the recommend dose, I been taking two a day for over a year and a half. 4 a day is Fucking crazy. You clearly had no patience to transition and over dosed yourself. That was irresponsible.
Andie Pas de Deux says
Plenty of people on the forum were taking the same dose I was and were having great results with no problems. I’m not perfect – I’ve learnt my lesson. Even if you’re only taking the recommended dose, you have NO IDEA what your estrogen levels are unless you get regular blood tests. I hope you’re getting tested and not just trusting to chance.
Natasha Belle says
A new reader here but may have something to offer.
I used to work at the Boots site in Beeston and took some of these herbal remedies in to test them. They certainly weren’t made to pharmaceutical standards. Composition varied markedly and some of them had contents you would not expect in an oral medicine such as micro-balloons usually found in face masks and similar.
In addition the effective hormone dose was quite low but some of the bulking agents can cause issues. IIRC taking about 2000mg was the equivalent of 100mg of oestradiol or similar.
Finally bella donna, hemlock, and ricin are all natural but will kill you stone dead.
Andie Pas de Deux says
Thanks Natasha, ooooh, that’s really interesting. I wouldn’t touch them with a bargepole now after what happened. I hope others can learn from my mistake!
Andie xxx
Jen jacobs says
If you take turmeric with estrogen or pm you should be fine low dose is good for thrombosis ,, And if you want to take pm use LOEI brand they are chew-able start wit 2 pills 2 times day then go up buy one pill
in three weeks,,,,When yo start getting no morning wake up calls stop going up on pill,,,
Laura says
Interesting experience. Thanks for sharing!
I was on PM (first cream, then added pills) for about 1 year. On and off. Had withdrawal issues as well. Got some growth. Did not get DVT fortunately, but did overdose a few times. Mostly causing pretty bad nausea. Then I went through an official route with estradiol. That actually was more effective than PM. 1 year after had the bottom surgery. Did not any blood work yet, but will have to do it really soon.
Natasha says
Hi dear Andie
Hope you are better and healthy
Just tell us how many month you continued by 4000 mg ?
Andie Pas de Deux says
Hi Natasha, I’m really sorry but I don’t remember – this was quite a few years ago now. Much better and healthier now I’m doing my HRT properly, thank you. xxx
Natasga says
Hi
Do you have still varicose on your legs or they gone?
I was taking 3000 mg for 1/5 month
I test my d dimer blood
It was 1.9
I stop taking it
Just tell me had you taken 4000 mg more than 2 month ?
Andie Pas de Deux says
No varicose veins. My leg can swell slightly if I’ve been standing on it for hours or walking a long distance, but other than that it’s fine. I’m sorry, I really don’t remember how long I was on various doses. It’s so long ago now.
Natasha says
Hi dear Andie
Are u taking hormon under your doctor orders?
How old are u dear?
Andie Pas de Deux says
Yes, all via various doctors, Natasha. It’s important – because otherwise you have no idea what your levels are. I believe my E levels went too high before and that’s why I got a DVT. I’m 47.