OK, well technically, it’s three months and 11 days, but I’ve had a deadline to hit – been a busy bee! So yeah, three months on estrogen. Thought I’d write an update.
If you look at the three-month videos of the young trans women who started this journey in their teens or early 20s, you’ll see them share tales of massive progress, physical changes aplenty and, natch, those all important before-and-after videos.
I could lie and say I have a perfect 36C bust, a peachy bum that J-Lo would die for and a pretty face like Mia Farrow’s.
Mia Farrow – so beautiful
But I’m not going to do any of that because virtually nothing has changed. I say virtually nothing – I did think the skin on my face seemed a little softer the other day, but it’s always been fairly soft anyway. I think it’s about the same.
And I also thought that my sweat smelled a little sweeter – so less like that horrible male acrid smell of sweat and more like the female one that smells of rose petals which have been bathed in a solution of spring water, sugar and spice.
I’m having another whiff now (too much information, I know) and I reckon things are a little sweeter and less sour on the nose than they were before. So maybe, just maybe, at least one change has happened.
But apart from that, nada. I’m still in my ‘orrible male shell – and it’s still pretty much the same as it was when I popped on my first estrogen patch just over three months ago (and then another and another because they fall off if you don’t handle them properly – I’ll write another post about this soon).
And, in terms of emotions, nothing. I don’t burst into floods of tears when watching my overgrown kittens playing, I’ve not started looking into Laura Ashley designs, nothing. I can still reverse-park. *winky smiley*
I am happier – but that’s only because I know I’ve fiiiiiinally started HRT, after all those years of waiting. I wouldn’t put that down to estrogen.
So why no changes? What’s going on?!
I have theories:
- I’m no spring chicken. I’m 44 – and 45 in a few weeks’ time. Trans women who start HRT in their 40s ain’t gonna see such profound changes – or changes that happen so fast – as those who start in their late teens or early 20s.
- I’m on a low dose of estrogen. Most people start on a lower dose anyway, but my endo is being particularly careful with me because of my DVT history.
- I’m not yet on testosterone blockers. Many, many, many trans women start estrogen and T-blockers at the same time. But the NHS (or at least my gender clinic) wants my estrogen to have risen to a higher point before I start on those. That takes about six months.
- And finally, it’s only been three months and YMMV – your mileage may vary! OK, and 11 days. According to our little chart, below, the ONLY thing that’s supposed to kick in during that time is lower libido and reduced erections.
Speaking of which, libido seems the same as it ever was – a bit up and down, but it’s always been like that. No erectile dysfunction at all. All working like clockwork. A bit up and down (sorry).
According to the chart, now I’ve hit the three-month mark, I can soon expect fat redistribution, reduced muscle, softer skin, breast growth and testicle shrinking. Testicle Shrinking would make a great name for 70s prog rock band, wouldn’t it?
But, as I’ve written here before, I suspect that chart is based on the experiences of trans women who’ve start HRT and blockers at the same time.
My testosterone, while down slightly, is still high enough that it’s going to be doing the blokey things it does (ya know, hanging around in sleazy bars, hitting on pretty women, that sort of thing) until I start on blockers.
I received a copy of a letter from my endo to my GP, which refers to my last lot of blood tests (I think that was slightly before the three-month mark).
The tests reveal my estrogen level is up from 93 to 216 (needs to be 400 to 600) and my testosterone is down from 24 to 19 (needs to be zero).
Time to step up from Evorel 50 to Evorel 100
My endo has recommended that I go on to the 100mcg patches from now on (I’m currently on 50mcg ones) and then have more blood tests after eight weeks. The next step, he writes, would be to start taking blockers, either by injection or implant, assuming my T levels don’t fall sufficiently on estrogen alone (unlikely).
“Andie needs to be aware that this results in loss of erections, something that not everyone wants,” he goes on.
I KNOW! :o)
And he mentions an initial surge in T production within the first two weeks, “which some patients can find quite distressing”, as libido and the frequency of erections increases.
“However, it is only temporary and subsides fairly quickly,” he continues.
Looks like another trip to the doc’s then! I’ll be glad when I get to the stage where I can stop attending GP surgeries, hospitals and gender clinics. I’ve been tested for slightly high blood pressure as well, so need to wait for those results.
Anyway, that’s about it! I’ll write a four-month update if anything’s happened by that point, but I won’t hold my breath.
Andie xxx
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