This trans girl’s going to be a bridesmaid!

This has been on my bucket list for eons and eons – I never really thought it would happen. But, hey, it is! I’m gonna be a bridesmaid!

Trans girls are no different from most cis girls when it comes to weddings – any chance to get dressed up to the nines, drink loads of prosecco and party hard.

I’ve been to loads of weddings and always envied the bridesmaids – the gowns and shoes, the perfect hair and makeup, the flowers.

But I never dreamed I’d be a bridesmaid. For one thing, I didn’t come out as trans until the summer of 2017, when I was 44. And who wants a middle-aged trans bridesmaid?! It’s hardly conventional, is it?

For another thing, most of my friends and family are already happily married – or they’ve been there, done that, got the divorce T-shirt and don’t wanna marry again.

I’ve been on a couple of hen dos in the past couple of years – and I even had bridal dreams of my own when I briefly got engaged (for less than six weeks). The least said about that the better.

And while I’d still love to walk down the aisle in a bridal gown one day (and I will, believe me!) the next best thing is to be a bridesmaid.

Let me rewind the clock a little here. Back in summer, in the town where I live, we had our first LGBT+ Pride festival.

As I wrote the following day, I met some absolutely beautiful people. We’ve become really close friends over the past few months – and through those people I’ve met others, in the same social circle.

We meet up most weekends and, while they’re terrible for my weight loss (we all like a beer or ten!) they’ve been great for my self-esteem and happiness levels.

After a few beers, I often do that drunken “I really bloody love you!” thing and remind them how we met. But I really mean it – I love them all so much!

I have some amazing friends, many of them whom I met during school days, or while at college. But I don’t see them so often – some are married with kids, others live many miles away. And we’re all guilty of not making plans to see each other more often.

So it’s kinda nice to meet a bunch of new friends who only live round the corner, and who like to meet up a couple of times a week for everything from beers and food to movies and live music.

Anyway! Two of these lovely people I met in a pub beer garden during a Robbie Williams tribute act at Pride. They’re a couple in their 40s and they’re both fabulous – let’s call them Lottie and Adam.

Lottie’s like a Tasmanian devil – so much energy and mischief. She has a huge smile and eyes to match. She’s a true trans ally, won’t tolerate any kind of bigotry and is a great listener. She’s very naughty and just so much FUN!

Adam is the yin to her yang – a steadying influence, perhaps. He’s quieter, he’s very generous, lovely to chat to and has fabulous taste in music. He also tells me he has my back if anyone starts being transphobic, including one occasion a few months ago in one of the pubs.

A few months ago, the three of us were sitting outside a bar in the smoking area (they smoke, I wasn’t!) and Adam asked me if I could keep a secret.

I told him I could, and he confided in me that he was going to propose to Lottie – in New York! I was so excited for them – he told me about the ring he’d bought and how he was feeling.

A little later the same evening, I was chatting to Lottie and she told me that, if she ever got married, she’d love me to be her bridesmaid. I had to bite my tongue as she had no idea about the forthcoming proposal.

Ooooooooooooooooh!!!

Sure enough, a few weeks later, they jetted off to New York and Adam popped the question. Lottie said yes (natch!) and the happy couple announced the news on Facebook. As you do.

On their return, I saw them both in town and asked about the proposal, what was said, where it was – did he go down on one knee? Oooooh, what a lovely ring! All the usual stuff.

But no mention of being a bridesmaid. I just assumed that Lottie had forgotten our conversation over cigarettes – it was late at night when we chatted and we were both pretty tipsy. I admit I was a teeny bit disappointed, but I didn’t say anything.

Time passed and I met up with them again a month or so ago at a live music event we have at one of the pubs here.

After one of the bands, I asked how the wedding preparations were going – and then  Lottie asked me to be her bridesmaid.

I was in absolute shock! I mentioned the late-night conversation and said I assumed she’d forgotten, but nope, she hadn’t! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaasss!

I got the feeling that preparations for the wedding aren’t exactly in full swing – Lottie seems to be focussing more on the honeymoon than the big day!

But the live music’s sorted and Lottie and I are gonna have our makeup done by a mutual friend who has to be one of the best makeup artists in the country.

I’m not at all concerned about being a bridesmaid who happens to be trans – I just need to lose a few pounds (ie a couple of stone!) before then, so I rejoined my Slimming World group as a brand shiny new member and have now lost 11lb in the past fortnight – yaaaaasss! Do NOT want to be a fat bridesmaid!

So there ya go, folks. Never say never. Never give up. If you have a dream, don’t let it die because, one day, against all the odds, it can come true.

Andie xxx

• If you enjoy the blog, please do me a favour and click on one or two of the adverts – this gives me a few pennies, which add up over the year to pay for the hosting. Thank you. Andie xxx