Coming out of Covid-19 hibernation

Hi bloggy-wog! Miss me?! I’ve just realised it’s more than a year since I posted, so I thought now might be a good time to give you an update as we come out of the Covid-19 pandemic.

First things first: where the HELL have I been?! Well, I’ve been away for three reasons. The first is that I’ve been busy. I’ve still been writing – SO much writing! But I’ve been working on other projects, which I won’t go into on here right now. One of them involves a brand new blog – I don’t really want to post a link here, but just message me if you really want to know what it is.

The second has been Covid-19. Like many people – especially trans people – being stuck indoors hasn’t exactly been easy on my mental health, so I just lacked the energy to update two blogs.

Take your transphobic bile somewhere else, mate

And the third is that I was being relentlessly trolled on here by someone, who called himself/herself “Sandy-ie”. Basically, every time I posted something, they’d leave a really nasty transphobic retort in the comments. I never replied to any of them and I never published any of them.

But it just became really f*cking ANNOYING, having some incel-like moron having a pop at me after literally every post. It was the usual “You’re a man – and you can’t change sex” bollocks. Absolutely nothing original.

So I just found this blog was becoming something of a chore. The hate involved literally every post. Anyway, that person has hopefully gone for good now.

I don’t have the time or energy to deal with transphobic enemies, and they were certainly no friend of mine. Camp TERF seems to be such a relentlessly angry set of people. If I wanted that sh*t, I’d just visit Trans Twitter.

So, what have you been up to, Andie? Well, let me tell you!

Being transgender during the Covid-19 pandemic

Being trans on TERF Island (the UK, for my international visitors!) ain’t easy at the best of times. Barely a day goes by without some bollocks from the TERFs either on social media or in the print/broadcast media. “Silenced” my arse!

It sometimes feels like decades of progress to change attitudes to be supportive of trans people have been steamrollered over the past five years.

But being trans during the Covid-19 pandemic had its own challenges. I’ll be honest, when we began the first lockdown back in the spring of 2020, I was really excited. I’m a journalist by profession, and this was a MASSIVE news story.

I didn’t leave the house for weeks, I tuned into news radio constantly, and I had all my food delivered. The only time I left the house was for medicine. Chris Witty and JVT became my new heroes, and I lapped up the daily press conferences from Downing Street eagerly.

When my boss first said that we’d be working from home, as Covid-19 Lockdown 1 began, she said it would “probably be for a couple of weeks”.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Working from home really harms social transition

Eighteen months later, we’re still working from home, although we’re finally looking at moving back to the office in the next few days.

In one respect, I’m really fortunate. I still have my job, the company’s doing really well and we’re all able to work from home because our jobs consist of sitting behind computers.

I’ve avoided Covid-19 (nicely double-jabbed, thank you) and I’ve actually been physically healthier than ever. Staying at home for so long means I’ve barely had a sniffle in all this time.

And, while most people have piled on the pounds, I’ve actually done well there, too. I reached my Slimming World Target at long last and, gender dysphoria aside, am now pretty pleased with my body.

The only hard part has been the isolation for months on end. I’m a social person and, while I do like being at home alone, I also miss my friends and family if I go ages without seeing them.

Back in society after months of lockdown

And being trans makes that far harder than for cis people. At the end of Lockdown 1, I was terrified of stepping back out into society. I was more scared of that than I was of Covid-19 itself.

All the progress I’d made in terms of socially transitioning appeared to be wiped out. As many of you will know, socially transitioning – ie, getting out there in society as your true self – becomes easier and easier the more you do it.

So it follows that, if you’re not getting out there day after day, and are working from home, the opposite will happen.

After the first lockdown, last summer, with help from my friends, I managed to socially transition all over again. It was hard, but I did it.

Then we had lockdown 2 and 3, and I’m now having to socially transition for a third time. That’s started to go well – visits to pubs with friends and so on.

But that’s only really once a week. The rest of the time, I’m in my own mini-lockdown still. Returning to the office will help, but I must admit I’m a little nervous about that. I know it will be the kick up the bum I need – but it’s still a little scary.

Physical transition finally going well

In terms of physical transition, things are finally beginning to look up. Any physical changes had stalled somewhat, presumably because my estradiol levels were so low.

They’re supposed to be between 400 and 600, but mine had been below 400 – and as low as 170 – in multiple blood tests after November 2018.

So, after making much fuss, my dose has finally been increased. Instead of taking two pumps of Estrogel/Oestrogel a day, I’ve been on three pumps for the past few weeks.

I know the NHS wants to be cautious with me because I have a DVT history, but it’s been so frustrating that things haven’t been progressing as fast as I want them to.

But, progress is now finally happening. My boobs haven’t felt this tender or looked this “buddy” for a looooong time and, combined with the weight loss and exercise, I’m finally starting to get curves. I have the beginnings of a waist. An actual waist! One that goes in instead of out. Yaaaaaaaasss!

Getting progesterone as a trans girl in the UK

I’ve also been reading up about progesterone. When I spoke to my endocrinologist about increasing my estrogen dosage, I also asked him about progesterone. I got the answer I expected: it’s not available on the NHS for trans people.

But social media is full of British trans women who absolutely swear by it, so I’ve decided I’m going to give it a go privately. It appears to be completely safe (unlike estrogen, which has its clotting risks), so why not?

It’s only in this country that trans women aren’t prescribed progesterone – apparently because there’s a lack of evidence that it works.

In other nations, it’s all part of the mix, along with estrogen and T blockers. And the only reason there’s no evidence that it works is because so few studies haven’t been carried out. That said, this 2019 piece from the Endocrine Society is well worth a read.

So while it’s annoying that I’ll have to pay for it (far more expensive than an NHS prescription), it will be worth it if the effects are anything like what I’ve read from trans women online.

More regular updates to come

Right, I shall leave it there because this post is becoming War and Peace. I will try to update the blog far more going forward, although perhaps not as often as I used to because, as I say, I have other writing projects ongoing.

If you got this far, thanks for reading and please feel free to leave any thoughts in the comments below!

Andie xxx

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