Dear Diary, apologies for neglecting you. Truth be told, I’ve been neglecting myself a bit of late. Time to “sort ma life out” and get back on track.
When I decided to take a career break for a few months, I had high hopes of doing DIY, spring cleaning, shed loads of exercise, that sort of thing.
And while I’ve done a bit of those, I’ve basically just let my hair down and had a really good time, seeing more of friends, eating out loads and basically being a lazy arse!
I still go to Slimming World, but the good living, combined with zero cycling, means I’ve put, ahem, a few pounds on.
So I’ve had “a bit of a chat” with myself and decided I need to get healthy and fit again. I think I did similar a year or so ago. It must be a winter thing – I sort of hibernate, eat lots and drink lots of warming wines and ales, and get lazy and fat.
Now there are snowdrops, daffodils and crocuses everywhere, spring has sprung and it’s time for new beginnings. I hate winter with a passion – the wind, the cold, the rain. It’s all so depressing. I wonder if I’ve got seasonal affective disorder on top of everything else.
So, as of today, I’m no longer going to drink at home – new pledge. I’ll only drink if I go out. Whether this pledge can be circumnavigated by going out even more, we shall see, but I’m feeling hopeful.
I’m also really gonna go for it with Slimming World again. Our lovely consultant Lisa has now stood down from our amazing Night Owls group. I went to a party with her at the weekend, and we had a brilliant chat about everything from healthy eating and dancing to drugs and trans issues. I shall really miss her taking group.
But all is not lost because Jackie, the consultant we had when I started almost four years ago, is coming back. Hooray! Jackie is absolutely lovely, a brilliant consultant and another fabulous trans ally, so I’m in safe hands. She takes her first group tomorrow, and I’m really looking forward to seeing her back after more than three years away.
So there ya go, drink less and eat better. I’m also gonna start cycling again. I’m in an organisation called Audax and was doing rides weekly all through last spring, summer and autumn. Most are 100k or 150k, but a few were 200k, and I did my first 300k.
So I do my first Audax ride since September a week on Saturday – and I’ve set myself the challenge to do my first 400k ride by the late summer/early autumn.
My friend Nat once described me as feast or famine – I do something 100% or I don’t do it at all. She’s so right, and I’ve had enough of the personal famine now – it’s time to feast! Or should that be the other way round?!
In other news, not ever so much to tell on trans matters. I have an appointment to see a haematologist at the end of this month. I also had my blood pressure checked at the docs’ last week and it was a teeny bit high, so I need to use a machine, when one becomes available, to check it at home over a week.
Not surprised it’s a little high, though, as I’m a fat porker who’s been drinking too much wine! I’ll soon get that down again.
My hair continues to grooooow! It’s about 4cm long all over now, so time to get it styled. My friend who was going to do it now no longer does hair, but she’s recommended someone else.
The back and middle of my scalp, which were balding quite alarmingly before, are now covered in hair. Good old Finasteride. The front still needs to fill in a bit, but then I’ve only been on Minoxidil for about two months and it takes three to six months before it starts to work.
Thinking of getting a short, choppy pixie cut to start with, and then grow into a short, choppy bob.
What else? I saw my family for my Dad’s 70th birthday a couple of weeks ago and, while they still call me Andrew some of the time, they’re slowly getting their heads around my “new” name. Old habits die hard. At least they’re supportive – there’s no malice, only forgetfulness.
I’m still really impatient about starting HRT, but I also understand that the haematology thing is important so that I don’t die.
Physically, I’m still 100% male and that sucks because gender dysphoria, despite what the TERFs who’ve never bloody had to battle it may think, is all too real and only getting stronger in my case.
But I do get little boosts from time to time. Yesterday, my friend Jan – another Slimming World legend – referred to me as “she” in a Facebook post. Only a tiny thing, but it made me feel ten feet tall.
Actually, I’d never pass if I was really ten feet tall, so I’ll stay at 5ft 6in, but you know what I mean. Little things like that really help when you’re in this state of gender limbo.
Ah well, to paraphrase Del Boy, this time next year, I’ll look and feel a million dollars.