It’s about 3am and I’ve got ruddy insomnia, so I shall write about what happened at last night’s Slimming World group – when I came out as transgender. And it couldn’t have gone better.
I’ve been a member of Slimming World for the best part of four years and, by the autumn had lost 4st 3lb. I was well on my way to my 5st target.
Then I split up with my fiancée, then it was Christmas and new year and then I was ill – so I spent months drinking too much wine, I stopped exercising and I put about 2.5st back on. Oops.
Last weekend was great, with loads of wine and beers. Thursday night was treat night after group, so plenty of wine. Friday was similar.
Saturday I was at a party – beers, Sunday was to have been my final wine hurrah and then Monday my mate Bob asked if I wanted to go to the pub. Of course I did. 6% beers.
So five nights in a row of drinking. And I don’t just mean a couple of shandies either. If I drink, I drink for England – feast or famine.
I’m not alcoholic – but I am guilty of binge drinking, like so many people these days. I find it far easier to drink nothing at all. If I have one glass of wine, I then want another and then another, and I don’t stop.
On Tuesday, I felt dreadful. I’ll save the details of exactly what happened for another time – but I decided it was time to have a word with myself.
And so I did. It was a simple message – stop getting pissed all the time or you’ll keep putting weight on and you’ll never get back in your size 12 clothes ever again. Also, you will die of liver failure.
And so I’ve vowed: no more wine at home, unless I have people round, which isn’t all that often. Also, get cycling again and really get back on it with Slimming World.
Since then, not a drop has passed my lips and I’ve been angelic with my syns, my healthy extras, my speed and everything else Slimming World members will know about. Worry not, speed means fruit and veg – not amphetamine.
I turned up at Slimming World tonight and didn’t feel too rotund, despite the five-day weekend’s excesses (which also included a cheeky takeaway). I wondered if I could sneak a maintain.
I stepped on the scales and hurrah! Minus 2.5lb! Feeling very happy with that – and vowing to use it as a foundation to rebuild my weight loss efforts, I went and got coffee and sat down with my girls in the Naughty Corner.
Last night was the first night back for Jackie, my original consultant when I joined four years ago, but she’s been gone for more than three years. Now she’s back, and I’m so pleased because I love her to bits.
There were about ten people in group – only one guy and the rest all women. And Jackie wanted to go round everyone to introduce herself and get to know more about them.
So she started with the chap, let’s call him Niall! He’s a fab guy who usually goes with his son – they’re both big rugby fans and enjoy a beer.
So Niall told her how he’d lost over 4st and got to target, and why he loves the eating plan and the group. Then it was Heidi, who did likewise.
And then it was me. So I reminded Jackie about why I’d joined – with my girlfriend at the time – and how I’d lost loads of weight before then putting half of it back on when life got in the way.
And then I looked round the room, saw everyone there was a friend – no new members or anything – and thought I’d say a bit more.
So I said the real reason I joined was because I hated my obese male body and that I wanted to start HRT, which is now just around the corner. If your BMI is too high, doctors will refuse to prescribe it.
“If you look at my Facebook profile photo,” I said to everyone, “you’ll notice I don’t look exactly like this.”
My Facebook profile is of me at Derby LGBT+ Pride last year, complete with wig, makeup etc. Then I told the group I’m transgender and about to start HRT – and that I’ll look a lot different – and be far happier – in a year or so.
I’d told some of the members anyway, and I came out on Facebook last summer anyway, so everyone probably knew anyway.
But it was the first time I’d mentioned it in group and, for someone who finds it really hard to talk to large groups of people (ten is large for me!) it was a big deal.
Then Jackie said I’d been really brave and promised she’d be there for me on both my journeys – the trans one and the weight loss one. And then everyone applauded and I felt incredibly happy!
Nobody gave me any funny looks, everyone was smiling (in a nice way!) and was really supportive. There is such an amazing amount of LOVE in that little group. If you could bottle it, you’d make a million.
The rest of group was ace, with taster night (everyone takes dishes to eat), Niall winning the annual Greatest Loser crown and my mate Shezza getting her 3.5st award – not bad for a pub landlady. I could NEVER do that job!!!
I got back home to some lovely messages on Facebook and Instagram from Jackie and some of the members.
I’m back in my happy place – I like it here and intend to stay.