Butterflies seem to be an important part of the symbolism of being transgender, especially for those about to transition, leaving that ugly caterpillar body behind, entering a second-puberty chrysalis and then emerging as a beautiful creature at the end of it all.
It’s time to move on. Annie and I have not been getting on too well of late, putting it mildly. But instead of getting bitter and full of rage, I’m going to reflect on a few positives from the whole relationship and its aftermath.
I began writing this post many months ago (I didn’t get past the headline) and I still don’t really have a definitive answer about whether I’m really non-binary or whether I’m kidding myself. Hopefully writing this will give me some clarity.
She said yes! I popped the question after dinner at a gorgeous little taverna in Santorini – and she said yes! I never dreamed I’d be uttering these two little words but I’m engaged!
By the time anyone else but me reads this, I hope to be engaged and have written an amazing post about proposing on the Greek isle of Santorini at sunset. But as of now, that’s going to have to wait. Anyway, I’ve just bought an engagement ring – and it’s almost as beautiful as the girl I’m about to propose to.
I wrote on here a few weeks back how happy I was that Annie’s mum had invited me to her local hen night, her hen weekend in Leeds and her wedding – with a place on the top table, no less. Now it seems she’s not the trans ally I thought she was.
I’ve never made any secret of the fact that I’ve never really had a burning desire to be a dad. But being a mum – albeit not a bioligical one – is a whole different kettle of fish. So, today, I went to freeze a few million sperm.
So it’s done. I’m legally no longer the person I used to be. I have two awesome girl names, no boy names and a piece of paper with four signatures on it. It feels good – but I can’t help feeling guilt, too. Anyway, here’s the process and what to do if you’re trans and want to change your name by Deed Poll.
I’ve had two main fears about coming out as trans. One is jibes from the beer-swilling men’s men down the football ground and the pub. The other is the reaction of people I work with – will they still want to be my clients? Yesterday, I met a chap who inspired me totally to take that final step.
I’ve been transgender for decades, and one of my main ambitions for soooooo many years has been to go on a hen night – to spend a night with the girls drinking, dancing and cavorting. And, on Saturday night, that’s exactly what I did!