I’m now 45 (hooray – still not dead!) and I’ve just had the best birthday celebration of my life. It was super-girly – and a major family hurdle has at last been cleared. The elephant in the room is dead – hooray!
Until now, the birthday celebration that sticks in my mind for being the best was when I turned ten – double figures at a time when my friends and I couldn’t wait to be “more old”. How times change.
I received a brilliant Scalextric present, I had a fabulous party and I remember snuggling up in a comfy chair and sharing candy kisses and cuddles with Michelle, a girl from up the street. She was a year older and I adored her. All very innocent, but just so lovely.
Thirty-five years later, my sister had planned something rather fabulous for me – and it was all to be a surprise.
The day (last Friday) began with yet another blood test at the local clinic. I’m still waiting for the results but, if all’s well, I should be starting my testosterone blockers soon. Which is good because, despite being on estrogen for well over five months, not much has happened yet. It gets easier for E to do its thing when T isn’t around.
Anyway, once I’d donated a couple of phials of blood (and then called my GP because they’d forgotten to add testosterone level checks on to the form) my sister and I headed to the big city. All I’d been was told was that it would be a girly day and to dress for such an occasion.
So I donned black jumper, black opaque tights and a yellow skirt, and was picked up by my sister in her car. It was the first time she’d seen me en femme, apart from at fancy dress parties. It seemed to be no big deal.
I had guessed that a makeover might be involved, and I was right. My sister and I headed to the city’s big shopping mall, and there we met my mum – it was only the second time she’d seen me en femme, too.
But you could tell they were starting to get used to the idea at last. No awkwardness at all. And so we headed to Mac for an hour-long makeover. It was brilliant, and the girl who did it was really complementary about the makeup I’d done (before I then took it all off!) and my skin.
I ended up with smokey eyes, false lashes, contouring, highlighter, glitter, the works. I looked and felt fabulous.
And there was more to come. My sister had booked me a personal shopper experience at Debenhams. This involved the three of us heading to a small room in the store and meeting one of the staff.
She then asked me loads of questions about the clothes I like and about sizes, colours, styles and suchlike. She then headed off into the store to see what she could find.
She returned with a rail full of togs, which I then had to try on, getting changed behind a curtain and then popping out to see what everyone thought.
Some of the outfits weren’t great, to be honest, but some were excellent, and I ended up walking out of there with a new dress, top, skirt and shoes.
We then headed for a gorgeous lunch at my favourite restaurant and then headed back to Debenhams, where they’d got a great deal on. Spend £40 on beauty products and get a £120 goody bag.
I found a gorgeous citrus perfume for £40, and the goody bag was really good, including another fragrance I really like, plus loads of other bits and bobs.
Then more shopping – I got a fab burgundy pinafore at Primarni – and then we all headed back to my sister’s house.
It had been a really enjoyable day from start to finish. I felt like my mum and sister were on my side and that any concerns about me being trans that may have been expressed previously were now history. Another hurdle cleared.
That left just one hurdle – the one about my nieces being told that I’m trans. And, as we were on something of a roll, we thought we’d clear that one as well.
I didn’t know at the time, but my sister had engineered a meeting with them. My mum and dad were both there. And my brother-in-law, who has expressed concerns in the past, was at work.
I’d love to say there was some BIG conversation about me being trans, but that’s not how it went at all. My nieces were sitting at the dining table when I walked in. One was playing a game on her laptop and the other was doing the same on a tablet.
They looked up, said hi, and that was it. It was as though I’d just walked in without full makeup, wig, skirt, boobs and so on.
As I’d told my sister several times over the past year or so: they won’t give a toss! And, shock, horror, they didn’t give a toss!
We just chatted away about school and stuff as we would on any other day. The fact that I was presenting as female didn’t faze them at all.
A few minutes later, my younger niece asked my mum about my hair. So my mum just said I’m growing my real hair and will need to wear a wig for a little longer while it grows. She seemed perfectly happy with answer and went back to playing.
But no other questions, and I didn’t really feel the need to sit down with them and explain that Andy’s now Andie – and all the ins and outs of it. I had been expecting to do that, but I think it’s probably better this way. I’ll just answer any questions they may have in the future.
As Mum, Dad and I headed out the door, my brother-in-law arrived home from work, so we said hello and had polite chit-chat for a minute or so.
He didn’t seem shocked that I was there en femme and, for once, he didn’t call me Andrew or chap!
My sister said later that he’d asked how the kids reacted when they saw me – and seemed happy that they weren’t fazed.
Sis and I both agreed that it felt like a massive weight had been lifted from our shoulders. It’s still a bit annoying that the situation was allowed to drag on for such a long time, but now it’s all done, so hoorah for that.
I keep clearing more hurdles, ticking more boxes. I had my blood test en femme that day, too. I’ve been to my local supermarket en femme. I met a pal for coffee in a nearby town en femme last week, too. I’m getting braver in my old age.
Life’s pretty good again these days.
Andie xxx
Soupdragon says
Fabulous post! Knew the nieces would be fine but glad the BIL was cool too, that’s a bonus
Isla says
Yay belated Happy Birthday Andie!
You are looking fab & am so glad things went well with your Nieces.
Good luck with the blockers.
Xx