Crikey, just writing that headline gives me goosebumps! Last week, I was voted my Slimming World group’s Woman of the Year – just two years after winning the Man of the Year title.
I’m still in shock. I came out on Facebook about a year ago now, so my Slimming World friends knew I’m trans – but I wasn’t brave enough to turn up to group “en femme” until much more recently.
I came out properly to group a few weeks ago and then, I think it was a week or so later, turned up presenting as female – we were having a “garden party” event to celebrate the royal wedding. Some of the ladies wore nice summer dresses, so I thought I would, too.
So I did. I wore my best frock and my wig (sigh!), did my makeup, the works. Some of us then went to the village pub afterwards. I got a few looks from the locals but nothing awkward.
In fact, one of them turned out to be an old friend I knew over 20 years ago, so it was nice to meet him again. He was cool with Andy now being Andie.
After that, I kept going to group in more androgynous attire – shorts and T-shirts. Yes, they’re girls’ shorts and T-shirts, but I wasn’t exactly presenting as female.
Then, about three weeks ago, I had to weigh in with another group. The consultant there had been covering our group, and she asked me if I’d like to be considered for the Woman of the Year competition.
I said yes, that would be amazing, but that I doubt I’d get nominated as I was only just starting my whole HRT journey and that the group members had only seen me presenting as female once.
She said I would be nominated because, even nobody else nominated me, she would. Bless her. Hugs all round.
I love, love, love Slimming World. I won the Man of the Year title two years ago. While it was lovely to win the title, I felt a massive fraud as I walked up to collect it, cos I knew I’d never felt truly male and had already begun the whole gender clinic process.
The following year, before I was “out”, I just asked not to be considered for it. It just didn’t feel right anymore.
Fast forward to last Thursday and Woman of the Year night. I knew I’d been nominated, so I bought a new frock, did my makeup, put on my best sassy smile and went along en femme. I could hardly be nominated for such a title looking like a, albeit effeminate, man.
I felt really nervous. In fact, I was virtually having a panic attack. I got there early and sat down in what we call The Naughty Corner with some friends and waited for proceedings to begin.
Everyone said I looked nice, which was lovely, but I was still bricking myself. Then more people began to arrive. We only normally get about a dozen people in group, but we must have had double that last week – and loads of them new members who’d never been before.
I wasn’t expecting to win anyway, but I thought the fact that there were new members there would harm my chances further, as they don’t know me. Surely they’d be thinking: who’s this bloke in a frock? He can’t win – he’s not even female, is he?!
We had a taster night, where everyone takes along something syn-free to eat. At the table, I was really touched because quite a few of the new members – all female – came to talk to me.
They were really lovely, asking what I’d made (Two Chubby Cubs chicken, leek and bacon quiche!) and my name and just making general pleasant chit-chat.
Then it came to the vote. There were three nominees. One was absent but the other nominee, let’s call her Letty, and I were given bouquets of deep pink roses. So lovely!
Then we had to give a little speech each. I’d made loads of notes about my trans journey, but then I just ended up talking about Slimming World, how much weight I’d lost, my cycling and that sort of thing.
Letty did her speech, too. And I must confess I was feeling a teeny bit confident by this point. One lady who I thought would win hadn’t been nominated, one who had been wasn’t there (so the new members had no idea who she was) and Letty is a fairly new member herself.
And then it came to the big reveal. Our stand-in consultant, who’s absolutely bloody lovely and said she would nominate me even if nobody else did, said: “And the winner is, our lovely Andie!”
Despite my confidence seconds earlier, I was in absolute shock! I just sat there with my mouth open, probably looking very unladylike as everyone clapped.
Then I had to go to the front of our little school hall, where I was presented with a sash, a certificate, the all-important sticker for my book and a scented candle.
Our consultant, despite using a “he” pronoun at one point (oops!) asked me how I was feeling, and then I did do a little speech about being trans and how the award meant the world to me. I felt accepted and validated. And for someone trans, those two things are absolutely MASSIVE.
Everyone clapped again, photos were taken and then everyone started hugging me and saying lovely things.
I drove home in a sort of trance. I couldn’t quite believe what had just happened. It had been a disaster on the scales – I’d gained 7.5lb as I’d had a terribly off-plan week. But I’d just won Woman of the Year.
I don’t feel completely female yet. I’ve only been on hormones for three months and they’ve not done a thing. But I’m getting there, and things like this are going to give me that much more confidence on my journey.
When I got home, I put a post on the Two Chubby Cubs Facebook group, telling the members what had happened. For those who don’t know, the group (and website) is run by two lovely gay guys. It’s all about Slimming World and is very LGBT+ friendly.
One of the chaps, James, said I should enter my story into a blog competition they’re running, which I’ve now done.
And I got so much love from the members of the group – almost 2,300 “likes” and well over 300 comments – every single one of them positive.
A couple of other trans people got in touch, too. They’re not out yet. I hope reading about my journey can inspire them somehow in the future.
So there ya go. Woman of the Year 2018. I’m a very happy girl, and very lucky to have such amazing and supportive SW friends, even it does mean it takes a little longer to get ready on Thursdays these days!
Andie xxx
Isla says
That’s fantastic Andie x