One of the most bonkers things I get from the TERFs on Twitter is that I’m sexist towards women (not just me – all trans girls). One once wrote that this blog is “dripping in misogyny”. Nothing could be further from the truth – I adore women so much that I want to become one, FFS! Anyway, I went on a hen do on Saturday, and that just reinforced the love and respect I have for women. WOMEN ARE AWESOME!!!
It’s now Tuesday afternoon and I’ve just about sobered up! I had an inkling that a hen do starting at 11.30am and not finishing until the early hours of the next day might be a little messy – and I was right.
I was really nervous about the hen do as, apart from the bride, I knew nobody. And I’m awkward enough in large groups anyway without the whole “I’m transgender” thing going on.
In the end, I needn’t have worried. A couple of girls dropped out, so I got to take my pal Di along. There was a Disney theme and I was Snow White – she was Alice in Wonderland.
We got ready at my house and then walked through the town centre to meet the rest of the girls at the pub. We got lots of looks, lots of smiles and one or two honks from cars as we made our merry way to the pub where we were to meet everyone.
Sitting around a large table was Minnie Mouse, Mary Poppins, Ariel the Little Mermaid and a whole host of other Disney characters. G&Ts were ordered and introductions made. Everyone seemed lovely, and I wasn’t nervous as I had Di as my wingwoman.
More girls turned up (I was the only trans person there) and then the bride, my pal Fay looking stunning as Belle from Beauty and the Beast. We’d told her that she was going as Annie – ginger wig and all – so I think she was quite relieved with her costume.
By 12.30pm we left the pub and made it to our coach, parked in the Market Place. I was expecting a regular coach but this was a “party bus”, with blacked out windows, disco lights and a booming sound system.
The windows were lined with holes containing bottles of Lambrini (cos Lambrini Girls wanna have fun, right?!) and we’d all taken our own booze as well. Di and I popped the cork in a bottle of Prosecco, and so the carnage began.
We headed up north to another town a few miles away and went to a couple of bars there, supping cocktails (Pornstar Martini for moi) and gin. One of the girls got stuck in a baby high chair. Ha!
Then it was back on the bus and back to our home town, everyone dancing and singing, waving. Someone had brought an inflatable cock and a blow-up man (Gino) along. By this point, I’d made loads of friends and, inhibitions completely kicked into touch by alcohol, some of them asked about my trans journey.
Everyone was really respectful and, unlike the TERFs, really happy that I wanted to cross over and join the sisterhood. One lady even opened up to me about her six-year-old son, who she said was probably trans, so I gave her what advice I could and told her about the Mermaids charity for trans kids.
What was good is that she said she would support him whether or not it turned out he was trans. I often wonder what TERF mums would do should their kids turn out to be transgender. A terrifying prospect.
When we got back to town, we were joined on the bus by a stripper – some guy dressed as a fireman. I’ve nothing against strippers at all, but Fay was clearly really uncomfortable with the whole experience – especially when he was waving his cock in her face. I just sat there, about to pounce on him if he decided to go too far. Luckily, he didn’t.
And then we painted the town red. The memory gets hazy here – no idea why! – but we went back to the pub where we started, to a cocktail bar and then to a bit of an old man’s pub which, it turns out, has a pretty decent dance floor round the back. Who knew?!
As well as more in-depth conversations with the girls, I met some other women who were out for a drink, including one was organising the town’s first ever LGBT disco, so I’m really looking forward to that.
We ended the night at another bar, dancing into the wee small hours, and me drinking Hooper’s Hooch, which I didn’t know still existed. I had no trouble from men either – at least none that I can remember.
Another great night. If you’re transgender and you’re invited on a hen do, I say just go for it. Most cis women are amazingly supportive to trans women. And that’s because women are f*cking awesome. Misogynist, my arse!!!